Don't know what we're doing
by Linef07
Summary: Alternate ending to the bar scene in "A thin line..." What if Chuck followed her? Blair's POV. CB, a bit of angst and a bit of fluf!


So, this was supposed to be a short drabble but it ended up longer than I expected and as always it's quite different to what it was in my head

So, this was supposed to be a short drabble but it ended up longer than I expected and as always it's quite different to what it was in my head! But anywho… here it is! Enjoy and please, please, please review! It makes me so very happy:-)! Oh and it's not beta'd so I apologize for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes…

Oh, and to anyone who is reading Erase/rewind, I promise I'll update soon... probably sometime this week. Just needed to get this one out of my system!!

_**CB, alternate ending to the bar scene from "a thin line" (Cause I just watched it and its sooo sad I just had to make it better some how…)**_

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing…

**Spoilers**: just a few from a "Thin line between Chuck and Nate", so you've been warned if you haven't watched season 1 yet!

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**Don't know what we're doing!**

His words hit her like daggers to her heart and she felt nauseous. No one had ever spoken to her that way. No one. She felt paralyzed; unable to move, so she just looked at him desperately wanting him to take it back, to apologize, but he didn't. He just starred straight ahead avoiding her glance. She suddenly felt like the air in the dimly lit bar turned uncomfortably heavy and oppressive, almost suffocating her.

She had to get out. She stepped down from the chair and as she walked towards the door she felt her head becoming cloudy and had to focus hard on the simple act of putting one leg in front of another as her brain was being filled up with a rush of emotions.

Once outside she let out a sob and tears started streaming down her face. She leaned against the wall trying to regain her composure but the tears kept falling and sobs kept escaping her throat. She stumbled towards the kerb looking frantically for a cab; she needed to get far away from the Palace, far away from him, but there was no cab in sight.

She continued half walking half running along the sidewalk trying desperately not to let her thoughts wander back but it was no use. His voice echoed in her head pushing all rational thoughts away, leaving her with no control of anything, no power.

"Blair!" she involuntarily sucked in a breath when she heard his voice behind her. "Blair" he called again but she didn't turn around. Instead she moved faster almost running in her ridiculously high heels not wanting to ever hear another word from his mouth. But he wasn't giving up. She could hear footsteps behind her, running, and she felt panic flooding her body making her stumble and almost fall.

She was moving as fast as she could now, sobbing uncontrollably, but it was no use. She felt his arms wrap around her from behind pulling her towards him forcing her to stop. She struggled hard, the feeling of helplessness scaring her, but he didn't let go. "Blair, stop it" he whispered in her ear sounding almost panicky himself.

"Relax." Her back was pressed against his body both his arms wrapped tightly around her waist. She reluctantly felt the panic leaving her system as new emotions took over. Anger and rage spread like a burning sensation in her stomach and she turned abruptly, surprising him as she did so. He immediately released his arms and stepped back giving her space. "What?!" She spat angrily, hot tears still falling down her cheeks.

"You have something to add to your little speech?" she continued, trying to control her voice. "I get the picture, trust me, there's no need to elaborate" she half snarled half sobbed at him. "I'm sorry…" he almost yelled at her, desperation shining through quite clearly. "Ha!" she blurted, almost hysterically. "You're sorry?! You're the biggest jerk to ever walk this planet, Bass". She was raising her voice now not caring if any passers by looked at her. "You _ruined_ me! You ruined everything! You tell me I'm worthless and now you're _sorry_??"

He was clearly taken aback by her uncharacteristic outbursts but he wasn't one to just stand by and take the heat. "I said I was sorry!" he exclaimed sounding more angry than sincere now. "And you expect me to believe that??" she asked sarcastically. "Just leave me the hell alone!" She turned around to leave but he grabbed her wrist. "No!" he hissed yanking her towards him.

"Don't you _dare_ touch me" she shot back, her eyes filled with both tears and hatred. He didn't let go. "This is not all my doing, you know" he said through clenched teeth, starring straight into her eyes. "Let go" she demanded, ignoring what he said. "Listen to me!" he demanded grabbing her wrist tighter and yanking her even closer. "You're hurting me" she whispered almost scared by his forceful grip she couldn't release herself from. A new lump started to grow in her throat dampening her anger. He let go immediately, looking frightened.

"I didn't mean to… I'm sorry" he urged. "You keep saying that…" she said in a low voice, crossing her arms across her chest as if to protect herself. "And yet you keep hurting me". She didn't mean to sound to ridiculously girlish and vulnerable but she couldn't help it. "I'm not the only one hurting people, Blair" he said calmly. "What's that supposed to mean?" She asked feeling slightly more comfortable standing a few feet away from him. "You just don't get it do you?" He asked bitterly. "Get what?" she looked at him confused.

"You knew how I felt…" he explained regretfully. "You knew and you still went back to him like… like it meant nothing". She let out a bitter snort. "So what? You want an apology?" she asked trying to sound cold but she couldn't quite manage it. "Jeez, Blair!" he ran his hand through his hair. "You think I just do this for fun? You think I enjoyed saying those things to you? Trust me, I didn't" "Then why did you?" she asked pathetically, "If you didn't even mean them. Why?" she demanded, wiping tears away with her hand.

"Because that's what I am to you" he said exasperated. "That's what I've become; I'm you're last resort, and that's not good enough, Blair! It's just not good enough". She felt her breathing becoming easier. "You can't get rid of that stupid idea in your head!" he continued bitterly. "And there's no room for me!" "You don't know that" she defended.

"As far as I know you can't read my thoughts so whatever this idea that you think I have is, you can't really hold me responsible" she shrugged contemplating him. She had never seen him like this before; he looked hurt yet there was a stubborn look on his face. She felt a sudden urge to laugh and couldn't hide a smile. "What's so funny all of the sudden?" he asked looking annoyed. She shook her head. "Nothing, it's just… this is ridiculous Chuck!" "What is?" "This… whatever it is we're doing…" she let her arms fall to her sides, relaxing now.

"Look, Nate and I are over! I'm not saying I'm over him, I mean you can't really expect me to be but we're over!" She said wanting him to believe her. "And us? I don't know, ok? I just don't! But I do know that you're _not_ my last resort! You never have been and you never will be!" she ended stubbornly. A smile formed on his lips and he took a step towards her.

"Guess we're even now…" "guess so" she replied, feeling her heart beat faster as he took one more step and was now standing right in front of her. He reached up his hand and stroked her chin, wiping tears away "I'm still sorry, though…" he mumbled. "Yeah, me too" She whispered as he leaned in, closing the gap between them and brushing his lips against hers.

She let one last sob escape and gave in to him forgetting everything around her as they deepened the kiss. He wrapped his arms around her frame again, but this time she didn't try to jerk away, instead she ran her fingers through his hair pressing herself even closer against his warm body, not wanting to ever let go.

In that moment she didn't care about what everyone else thought; even Nate drifted out of her mind leaving room for no one besides Chuck. She felt safe, locked in his embrace, like no one could harm or hurt her, not Jenny not, not her Mom not anyone. When they broke the kiss her head was spinning and she held on to him. "I really could use a drink right now!" she stated matter-of-factly and he smiled and nodded at her.

"Just what I was thinking." With that they turned back to wards the bar Chuck with his arm around her back and Blair resting her head on his shoulder. And even if she didn't quite understand what they were doing, she did know that nothing had ever felt more right…

R&R


End file.
